0031-log
by TheBuggiest
Summary: When the mercenaries attempt to hide an injured Medibot at the base, it's only a matter of time before the Administrator finds out or Gray catches up to them. A follow up to Dell's Letter, The Second Letter, and E-001 log.
1. entry01

entry_1

1136 hours, Saturday, January 27, 1973.

Hello. This is medical unit 0031. I do not think this program was meant to be used as a record of past events, but Herr Engineer suggested it to keep myself busy while waiting for him to finish repairing me. He calls it "keeping a journal." I am a bit puzzled by this practice as I can recall things without having to keep a typed record of them. Most likely it is simply a human ritual. Many things that humans do make little sense to me, and Herr Engineer was human once. What is one supposed to put in a journal anyways? Which details should I insert and which should I leave out? How do humans make decisions like this? It is mystifying.

If someone were to read this at some point, perhaps they would require some context, so here is the context. I am a robot, but I am at a base with Herr Engineer's human friends because I helped him to escape. Drei is also here, sleeping in my lap at the moment. She is what is commonly called a pigeon though I can provide the genus and species names if necessary. She broke her neck against the building and died, but I fixed her. She still cannot fly yet. Eventually I will fix that too.

I am incapacitated at the current time and have been for longer than a week now, though I was powered down for most of that. My vital systems have only just been fixed so I can stay on for longer than a few minutes without shaking too badly. Herr Engineer has not had time to repair my pneumatics or even to patch my tire, so my motility is limited. Still I am able to move my arms and he has me propped up, so it is not as bad as it could be.

He is wanting to replace a good many of my parts. It may be weeks before he is entirely done if he carries on with these plans, to improve my functionality beyond mere repairs. I will let him do what he likes because I think it helps him to not think about his current mechanical state. It also gives him a reason to stay in his room. It confuses me because he likes being with his friends very much, but he actively looks for reasons to stay away from them. Maybe he thinks they secretly do not want to be around him because he is a robot now, and he thinks they just do not want to tell him. I do not know; human brains are very complex things.

But even so, Herr Engineer seems happy to have escaped from Herr Gray. Being among the humans again has greatly improved his disposition. I wish I could be more pleased for him. As the matter stands I cannot overlook that I betrayed Herr Gray. He must hate me.

I want to stop recording now.

/entry_1


	2. entry02

entry_2

1433 hours, Tuesday, January 30, 1973.

This is unit 0031 again. I wasn't going to utilize this journal any more, but something interesting happened today and Herr Engineer does not want to talk about it. Maybe it is these sorts of situations that lead humans to keep journals in the first place. Either way I will see if this recording helps sate the impulse I have for discussion.

What happened was that the human Soldier and the human Scout came to the workshop today. It was the first time they have visited while I was powered on. They knocked first to signify their presence, and Herr Engineer stopped taking off my punctured tire. They began to converse through the door, as follows:

Soldier unit: ENGIE WHY IS YOUR DOOR LOCKED?

E-001: Just wait a minute, I'm coming!

Soldier unit: THAT'S OKAY, I GOT IT!

The Soldier said that because he kicked the door down. Herr Engineer did not behave as though he were surprised, but he did not seem happy about it either. The Soldier did not notice, and neither did the Scout who followed him through the door.

Scout unit: Hey pally, you shouldn't shut yourself up like that. People are gonna think you don't want us around.

E-001: Don't y'all have any notion of privacy?

Soldier unit: PRIVACY IS FOR LITTLE GIRLS CRYING OVER THEIR FRILLY PINK DIARIES! BESIDES I HAVE SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO DEBRIEF YOU ON PRIVATE!

E-001: Yeah, well it'd better be pretty darn important if you couldn't wait for me to unlock the door.

Soldier unit: IT IS INFORMATION FROM MEDIC AND HE SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT, SO THERE!

Herr Engineer straightened from where he was examining the damaged door so he could look at Soldier's expression, whatever wasn't covered by his helmet anyways.

E-001: What is it?

Soldier unit: IT IS THAT MEDIC WANTS TO TALK WITH YOU ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS! SO THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU!

0031: Was?

And then Soldier and Scout turned around quickly to look at me. I do not think they knew that I was conscious.

Scout unit: Whoa, Engie why didn't you tell us that Champ was on?

0031: Are you referring to me? My identification code is 0031, not-

E-001: Maybe I would have if y'all gave me time to let you in instead of busting my door down.

Soldier unit: FIXING THINGS IS YOUR JOB! I'M SURE YOU CAN FIX YOUR STUPID DOOR!

Scout unit: Yeah, stop being a big crybaby.

E-001: Scout, do I look like I'm even capable of crying in my present state?

The Scout ignored him except for he snorted a little. His attention was turned toward me anyways, and he began to walk over to the workbench. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, especially as Herr Engineer and the Soldier were moving as though to leave the room. I did not want to be left alone with this human I didn't know.

0031: Ah... hello.

Scout unit: So you're like, a real robot? One of the ones that keep trying to kill us all the time?

0031: I am not trying to kill you right now, so no. Besides I was retired by Herr Gray several months ago.

Scout unit: Why, you get too old?

0031: Er, partially, though I would rather not talk-

Scout unit: Dude, so your eyes like glow in the dark and crap, right? Does that mean you never need a flashlight?

0031: No, I-

Scout unit: How about your body? Is that solid or is it hollow?

0031: Now really, if I was solid metal where would my circuitry und the like- STOP BITTE, THAT IS NOT PLEASANT!

I grabbed his wrist because he started to bang on my chest. He scowled and yanked out of my grip.

Scout unit: Okay, geez, I was just curious.

0031: You are asking questions too quickly for me to answer them. Also please do not hit me. I don't like that.

Scout unit: You're no fun.

0031: I didn't realize that "being fun" was a condition to being allowed to stay here.

Scout unit: It ain't. I just thought it'd be cool to have a robot at the base. Didn't expect you to be completely lame.

0031: There is not much I can do about that. Herr Engineer is still repairing my motility functions.

Then he gave me a strange look as though he had no idea what I was talking about.

Scout unit: You're freaking weird, you know that?

0031: Er, you may think so I suppose, but that is a matter of opinion I think.

He looked like he was going to keep talking about that, so I changed the subject to something I actually wanted to talk about.

0031: What is it that your Medic wishes to discuss with Herr Engineer?

Scout unit: Hell if I know. Medic won't even say what he's doing to me when I'm on the table in his surgery. He ain't about to say anything about what him and Engie are up to. Believe me, I asked.

0031: Why not?

He rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall.

Scout unit: Something about me not being able to keep my trap shut. That's just an excuse though, cause I can keep a secret better than anyone and he knows it. Like this one time when I was back home one of my pals took ma's car for a joyride, see, and I didn't say nothing about how the windshield got busted to her. It's not like-

0031: Yes, I think I understand now. But, ah, aren't you curious about what they are doing?

Scout unit: Well yeah, but they still ain't gonna tell me. Why?

0031: Oh, I was only wondering about it. Your Medic's job sounds very interesting, working with true organisms.

He laughed slightly.

Scout unit: Heh, yeah, the way that crackpot does it makes things a little TOO interesting if you get what I- oh hey!

The Scout turned to face the door because Herr Engineer had returned. He did not look up immediately on being addressed. This served to irritate the Scout.

Scout unit: Yo, gear-head, I'm talking to you!

E-001: I heard you, now shut up. Wait... have you been in here this whole time?

Scout unit: Well yeah. Me and Champ here were having some quality time, you know, like I was showing him the ropes kind of and-

E-001: He didn't mess with anything did he?

The words were directed at me.

0031: Oh! No, we were only talking as he said. I think he likes talking.

E-001: Good.

He rubbed the back of his helmet distractedly. I hesitated before continuing the conversation.

0031: Ah, if I may be so bold Herr Engineer, might I ask what it was the Medic und the Soldier were talking with you about?

E-001: Soldier wasn't talking with me about nothing, just Medic. I doubt Soldier even... yeah.

The Scout looked between us.

Scout unit: Seriously though, what kind of stuff were you-

E-001: That ain't none of your concern, boy, now how about you leave so I can fix the door y'all broke?

The Scout scowled but made his way toward the exit anyways, even though he hadn't actually been the one who had broken the door.

Scout unit: Your fault for locking the door to start with. Anyways I'll see you Champ. Maybe when you get your wheel fixed we can hang out.

0031: Goodbye, human Scout. It was interesting to meet you.

After he was gone, I scooted myself forward a little along the workbench so I would be marginally closer to Herr Engineer. He did seem terribly distracted as he stood there staring at the empty door frame. He didn't even proceed forward to examine where the hinges had been torn off by the force of the Soldier's boot.

0031: Is everything all right?

E-001: Yeah.

There was a pause in which I expected him to say more but he didn't.

0031: Would you be willing to converse about it?

E-001: Nope.

0031: Oh. I am sorry, I did not mean to-

E-001: I'm gonna lie down. You should get some rest too.

I only nodded in reply, but he wasn't looking at me. He was leaving the room so all I could see was his back.

I do not know much about human behavior yet, but his shoulders were tense like they had been when he was human and Herr Gray was asking him questions that he did not like. It is worrying to me a little bit, but then we are among his friends. They will not let anything bad happen to him most likely, unless they are not truly his friends or they are secretly still angry about him going to work for their enemy.

Which is not reassuring now that I am processing it, as these are both possibilities. Perhaps once I am mobile again I can find out what is wrong.

/entry2


	3. entry03

entry_3

1500 hours, Wednesday, January 31, 1973.

Hello, it is me again. I have some interesting things to record, as well as a mildly distressing thing that I learned this afternoon.

Today Herr Engineer repaired my wheel stalk so that I can get up and move around. It is still not entirely stable, unfortunately, and I am unable to move as swiftly as before. Nevertheless it is an improvement on my previous condition. I thanked him for it once he finished, but he shook his head at me.

E-001: This shouldn't be so damn hard to fix. I dunno why it's taken this long just to get you upright again.

Sensing that he was frustrated, I attempted to console him.

0031: Well, you are operating under a gut many distractions. It hasn't even been two weeks since we escaped, und look at what you have already been able to do! I am conscious, I am able to see, I can communicate, I can even move. It is more than I deserve, Herr Engineer, und I am fine with however long you need to take.

He snorted.

E-001: Yeah, except I'm not fine with it.

I replicated a sigh because that is what humans do when they are talking to someone who is being stubborn, sometimes.

0031: It does not mean anything about your capabilities, if that is why you are upset. If you do not believe me, then perhaps you should go see your human friends und ask them.

E-001: Eh... I don't really feel up to being around a lot of people just now.

I crossed my arms. That is a good movement to remember; I like it very much.

0031: Herr Engineer. You do enjoy being with them. It does not make sense that you stay in your room by yourself so much. It is counter-intuitive.

E-001: What are you now, my pa?

0031: That makes very little sense. I am only concerned. Either way you are avoiding the subject.

He rubbed the back of his helmet and shifted his weight. I have seen him do this movement several times, usually when he is making a decision that he does not like. I think it may be a means to prolong the time he has until he must make this sort of decision, or at least to acknowledge it.

E-001: Fine, I guess. You're coming out there with me though.

0031: Ah, was?

E-001: Well you're staying with them ain't you? You'll need to meet everyone proper if you want them to feel comfortable around you, given the nature of your previous encounters.

I didn't like that very much. I must have shifted my weight like Herr Engineer without thinking about it, because I lost my already precarious balance and fell backward into the bench top. He grabbed my arm to stabilize me.

E-001: Careful!

0031: Entschuldigung, mein Freund. I, ah... yes, you were saying that I should go talk with the humans.

E-001: Unless you can think of a real good reason not to, yeah. Are you okay?

0031: I am fine, yes. You simply... you surprised me. That is...

I thought carefully about how best to word my thoughts.

0031: I just... would not think you would suggest that I converse with your teammates more than necessary, that is all.

E-001: Why, just because you helped kill them a few times?

0031: Er, it was more than a few times, and I wasn't always just _helping_ to kill them.

E-001: So what? We can get along with RED now, and we've been killing them for longer than you've existed.

0031: But they are _humans_, Herr Engineer. It is different.

E-001: And you're just making excuses, Thirty-One. Come on, they're probably all watching TV right now. We're supposed to be rolling out to head Gray off at Mann Works this week, so they've got plenty of down time. Might as well use it to get better acquainted.

Needless to say, I still did not like the idea, but it seemed that my excuses had proven ineffective.

0031: Egh... all right. I will require assistance moving if the television room is very far down the hall though.

E-001: I can do that. Here.

He wrapped an arm over my shoulders so I could lean against him somewhat, and we exited through the still broken door. The hallway outside was rather dim and the floorboards uneven, which slowed our progress. I did not notice so much at the time though, because something Herr Engineer had said had captured my attention. I gave him what might be called a sidelong look.

0031: You called me Thirty-One. Why is this?

E-001: Huh? No reason really. Just 0031's kind of a mouthful.

0031: Mmm. I suppose that Thirty-One is three syllables shorter.

E-001: Why, you not like me calling you that?

0031: Oh no, I do not mind you calling me anything. Well, I might disapprove if you called me something as an insult.

E-001: In that case we might have to find you a new name altogether. Numbers ain't really a name anyhow.

0031: Ah yes, you do not like being called by your identification code.

E-001: No. No I don't.

We stopped talking for a moment as he helped me across a particularly uneven and creaky patch of floorboards. It was an interesting thought, to have an actual name like a human. I was not sure how I felt about it, as it seemed rather irreverent to give a machine something designed for our creators. Herr Gray would not approve. However it hadn't been my suggestion. If these humans and Herr Engineer thought it was all right, then maybe it did not matter as much as I thought it did. I steadied myself as we reached a door at the end of the hallway.

0031: Well... your Scout did call me something earlier. "Champ" I think it was, though I do not know what that means.

Herr Engineer made a snorting sound as he grasped the doorknob.

E-001: We can do better than that.

0031: Why? You don't use a name either. "Engineer" is a title.

E-001: That's different, and anyways we're here. Just try to relax and act normal.

I shifted in my discomfort, then stopped because my wheelstalk did not appreciate that very much.

0031: If you say so, Herr Engineer.

He opened the door.

Quite a few of his teammates were present in the little room, making it appear even smaller than it was. The Demoman and the Soldier sat on a worn couch with their feet propped up onto a short table of some sort. A bowl of some white and yellow pieces of fuel sat on the seat cushion in between them, and they were rapidly consuming its contents. The Pyro sat on the floor right in front of the television screen with its head resting on its hands. (I am not sure if the Pyro is actually a human or not, but it seems impolite to ask. Besides it does not behave like a robot.) The Heavy occupied a very strained-looking folding chair on the opposite side of the room from the door, his mouth turned down into a slight frown. The Scout was also present, perched on the back of an armchair.

All of them turned their attention from the television to us when we entered. Scout waved and immediately fell backward from his perch so I could no longer see him.

Scout unit: OW! Hey Champ, how's it hanging?

I twisted my hands together without thinking about it much. It is odd; I did not notice how much I do this until after I came to this human base. Anyways Herr Engineer stepped forward through the door first, still keeping an arm on me in case I wobbled again. Pyro immediately jumped up and went to hug Herr Engineer, then looked at me very very hard. I did not like that much. Behind it, the rest of the mercenaries were watching me very hard as well. I liked that even less even if they didn't necessarily seem belligerent.

Herr Engineer clapped Pyro on the back but kept his grip on me firm.

E-001: Hey there buddy. This here's Thirty-One. He's a friend of mine, so play nice you hear?

Soldier unit: HELLO ENGINEER! WE ARE WATCHING A MOVIE ON THE TELEVISION!

Demolitions unit: I think he can see that. And stop picking out the saltiest pieces ye great arse.

Soldier unit: YOU ARE A GREATER ARSE, WHATEVER THAT IS!

Heavy weapons unit: Engineer, why do you bring robot doktor with you?

E-001: Well, I figured it's high time y'all met him proper-like since I've got him running again.

Scout unit: Pssh. He already knows who I am 'cause I met him before anybody else. Here, I'm great at telling people what's what.

The Scout popped up from behind the chair and in an instant had an arm around my shoulders. It was good that Herr Engineer was keeping me upright or I might have fallen over.

Scout unit: Okay, so that fat guy over there is Heavy. He's from Russia so sometimes he don't talk real good, but don't call him stupid or nothing because he might rip your arm off and beat you with it. Uh, the guy with the helmet over half his face is Soldier, and the guy with one eye is Demoman. And Pyro's the other guy.

0031: Ah, danke human Scout. H-hallo everyone.

Demoman nodded politely, though his eye was narrowed just a little bit. Soldier was using his momentary distraction to stuff the bowl's contents into both his mouth and pockets. The Heavy's eyes narrowed as well, but he did not nod like the Demoman. Then Pyro got very close to my face and stared at me so I leaned back and almost fell over again. I did not want it to smudge my optical sensors.

E-001: Careful!

0031: Ach, sorry Herr Engineer. Und I am sorry for intruding, everyone else. I should probably leave.

The Demoman shrugged and turned back to the television.

Demolitions unit: Nah, don't let us scare ye off, robot. If Engineer trusts ye then you're welcome here.

Soldier unit: MMF, WHAT TAVISH SAID!

Demolitions unit: Bloody hell, you've gone and finished off all the popcorn ye bucket head!

Scout unit: See pally? They're all right, you just gotta get to know them first. I mean, I know we're pretty intimidating and all; if I met me in the street, and I was you, I'd be pretty scared too. The thing is-

The Heavy rose from his seat without waiting for the Scout to finish.

Heavy weapons unit: Robot doktor IS trustworthy, da? You are sure of this Engineer?

E-001: Well he saved my life, kind of. If that don't make him trustworthy I don't know what does.

Heavy weapons unit: But you also said that it is why you are like robot now.

I jerked a little in surprise.

0031: You told them, Herr Engineer?

He shifted his weight again. I took note of that.

E-001: I, uh, might have mentioned it. But it's complicated, Heavy, just trust me on this. He's fine.

The Heavy continued frowning but regained his seat.

I nodded slightly to myself, then turned to Herr Engineer. The Pyro had also lost interest and was now sitting in front of the television again.

0031: All right, they have met me. Can we please go back now?

E-001: We could. You still haven't met Medic, Sniper, or Spy yet though.

I made a groan.

0031: Herr Engineer, please, I am not sure I want to meet everyone all at once. It is rather overwhelming.

E-001: Well... I suppose we could head back, and you can meet them tomorrow if you want.

He almost sound relieved. I consented, though I still did not know why he was avoiding his friends. It is very different from my situation.

0031: Ja, that would be most appreciated. Thank you.

Herr Engineer began to help me back down the hall. To his apparent displeasure the Scout followed us instead of going back into the television room. That was a small annoyance to me as well; I wanted to ask Herr Engineer about why he told the others about my role in his surgery.

E-001: Don't you have a movie to watch?

Scout unit: Nah, I'd rather hang out with you guys. They keep getting on to me for talking. But like, it's a movie; what do they expect me to do, sit still and just do nothing while it's running? That's bogus.

0031: But isn't the point of a movie to see und hear what is happening on the screen?

Scout unit: Well yeah, but I wasn't being all that loud even!

E-001: Sure you weren't.

The Scout said something in reply, but looking back over it the conversation was not nearly interesting enough to write down here. It is as I observed before, the human Scout is very much like the robotic ones in that he simply enjoys talking a good deal. I do not understand it myself; if there is nothing of importance to say, why would you continue to say things? But the inner workings of the minds of others, human and robot alike, is not something I have the privilege of looking into at the moment. Herr Engineer did not give him much in the way of replies, but it did not stall the Scout's jabbering. It was rather impressive really.

Anyways Herr Engineer got me back to his room and onto the workbench easily enough. The Scout came inside right after us, still talking.

Scout unit: But yeah like I was saying, I've seen heads explode before, and they didn't make it right at all. You didn't even see brain chunks or- hey Overalls, I thought you were gonna fix this door yesterday!

E-001: Huh? Oh... yeah I'll do it later. I'm pretty tired right now. Probably gonna take a nap, so you're gonna have to clear out.

Somehow I doubted that Herr Engineer really did need to take a nap, but the Scout just rolled his eyes and proceeded back toward the doorway again. Then he snapped his fingers and turned back to us.

Scout unit: Oh hey, before I go, there was something I was supposed to tell everybody.

E-001: Make it short.

Scout unit: Okay, geez, what's your problem?

Herr Engineer crossed his arms and just glared at him, so the Scout kept going.

Scout unit: Yeah, so basically Miss Pauling's coming over to talk to us or inspect stuff or something Saturday before we leave. I got the call today, and man she was SO flirting with me on the phone, you should have heard it-

Herr Engineer clapped a hand to his face and groaned.

E-001: Aw hell.

0031: What is the matter?

E-001: She works for the boss, that's what's the matter.

It took me a moment to fully process the implications of those words. If she worked for the boss of the humans, and neither of them knew that Herr Engineer and myself were at their base, it could be problematic to say the least.

Scout unit: Well yeah she works for the... oh. I didn't think about that.

E-001: Really. Why don't you go back and do something useful like tell everyone else about the inspection?

Scout unit: Stop trying to boss me around. It's like ever since you turned into a robot you're pissy all the time-

E-001: GO.

Scout unit: I'm going, I'm going!

The Scout left with a huff and an eye roll. Herr Engineer slumped into a chair, rubbing his helmet. I watched him for a moment, trying to think of something useful to say. I couldn't, so I settled for something encouraging.

0031: We may still be able to think of a way to hide, Herr Engineer. Do not worry yourself too much.

E-001: Easy for you to say. Dammit though, I should have seen this coming.

0031: You were preoccupied. I think everyone is preoccupied. But let's just... let's think about the facts, shall we? You, Drei, und I are not supposed to be here, apparently, so we will either need to be somewhere else or we will need to conceal ourselves.

E-001: Yeah. The question is how? Miss Pauling ain't an idiot, and she ain't blind neither. If she sees anything that puts her on our trail, we might as well jump in a trash compactor right then and there. She'll relay anything she finds directly to the Administrator, and that means we're both dead.

0031: Goodness, that is a terrifying thought.

E-001: Yep.

I sat twisting my hands and trying to think until Herr Engineer got up with a sighing sound.

E-001: Look, I'm gonna go back and talk to the others, see what they think about all this. You hang tight here and I'll be back before too long. If you think of anything, I'll be glad to hear it.

0031: Yes, I will think very hard Herr Engineer. We might still be alright.

E-001: Maybe.

He left so that I was alone in the room except for Drei. I took her out of the little box I had made into a nest to inspect her mechanical parts while I thought. She is still in my lap right now; it has been approximately half an hour since he left.

I do not feel at all useful at the moment. No good solutions to our problem are forming in my head. Of course I am not so good at solving these sorts of problems that require sneaking and concealment anyways. It is not what I was designed for. If only Herr Gray had made me a Spy, perhaps I could figure out something to do!

/entry_3


End file.
